It doesn’t matter where we are.

Or how far we’ve travelled.

Or how hot it is.

Or cold.

Or what time of day.

Whether it’s time for a snack, a meal, a nightcap, morning tea or midnight feast.

We can always drop in to Red & Pilchard’s Ultimate All-Australian Travelling Café!

Because it’s ALWAYS open.

For us …

… and serves up food just the way we like it!

With fresh, local ingredients.

Like food from our favourite bakeries.

Or fast food.

Or even good, old fashioned home-cooked meals.

But Red and Pilchard’s Ultimate All-Australian Travelling Café isn’t open to just ANYONE!  Its exclusive membership deals are just for two!

Usually.

BUT … there’s an occasional dispensation for a special guest, or a mate.

And the best thing about Red and Pilchard’s Ultimate All-Australian Travelling Café?

Against a fascinating and ever-changing backdrop – tropical, desert, coastal, inland, rocky, sandy, scrub, bushland, beach, mallee, lakes, rivers – the Café provides an oasis of stability.

Because no matter how dramatic the changes to scenery, weather or company, the Red & Pilchard’s Ultimate All-Australian Travelling Café Chairs have remained the same for nearly a decade.

So whatever adventures we’re having on the road, we come home to Red & Pilchard’s Ultimate All-Australian Travelling Café.

And our Café Chairs!

They’re not even close to being worn out yet, so if you’re out on the road and you see them (and us!), why not drop in and see if the Cafe’s open?!

Want MORE?

• Dales Gorge, Karijini National Park, WA
• Cairns, Far North Queensland
• Wyndham, Western Australia
• Lake Pamamaroo, Menindee Lakes, NSW
• Stonehenge, Queensland
• Waikerie, South Australia

The post Red & Pilchard’s Ultimate All-Australian Travelling Café appeared first on Australia by Red Nomad OZ.

My Story by Red Nomad OZ

Today we went for a drive in the country on the Yorke Peninsula.

The fields were all dry but the sky was very blue.

We stopped to look at flowers.

There were lots of white everlastings.

We had to look for snakes but we didn’t see any.

That was good.

There was just a dead one on the road.

That was good too.

The sky was very blue down by the beach too.

Pilchard said there were lots of small birds that flew here all the way from Siberia.

He said they are called Red-Necked Stints.

But even they haven’t travelled as far as the Fire Truck in theEdithburgh museum.

It’s weird to think how far those birds come just to escape winter.

Maybe people who live in, say, Switzerland, Hungary or even Texas might like to come here for winter too.

Then they could see the red brick lighthouse called Troubridge Point Lighthouse.

It is round. The bricks are a special shape to make it round. It is the only lighthouse like this in the world.

We stopped to look for seals but there weren’t any. They are all at Kangaroo Island. We could see Kangaroo Island across Backstairs Passage. I don’t know why they called it that. Then Pilchard said we had to go because there might not be any vanilla slices left at the Yorketown bakery.

It was scary driving along the edge of the cliff because it was very windy. The sky was very blue but the sea was even bluer. When we got to Suicide Point it was the bluest of all. But that’s because I made my camera do a trick.

On the way to the bakery the sky was very blue. Then I saw a salt lake. It was very white but it turned blue where the water was still in it. That made the whole picture very blue.

Pilchard was right about the vanilla slices being gone. So he made a mess of his bakery food on the plate. It looked like fresh roadkill. But he said it tasted great.

When we got back to Sultana Point the sky was still blue but there were bits of pink in it. It was still pretty. Tomorrow the sky will be very blue again.

The end.

The post “Red and Pilchard’s Day in the Country” by Red appeared first on Australia by Red Nomad OZ.

Anything RED will catch my eye.

An interesting history will hold my attention.

But it takes more than hue and back story to boggle my mind!

And this ordinary looking 1942 truck sitting inside an old shed behind a Yorke Peninsula country town museum with magpies roosting on its rusting railing delivered that boggle in spades.

Because this ex-army, transport and fire-tender vehicle has travelled 2 MILLION miles!

That’s ROAD miles. And many of those miles are DIRT miles – and the equivalent of crossing Australia from east to west about 800 times!

Even Pilchard and I haven’t covered that distance on ANY sort of road in 21+ years of Australian road tripping!

In manufacturing a vehicle capable of such distances, has the International Truck Company (and the Gardner LW4 Diesel Engine and David Brown 5 Speed Gearbox) succeeded where other, more notable vehicle manufacturers have failed?

Because although I’m not a petrol-head, I don’t recall the 2,000,000 mile service ever coming up on any of the vehicles I’ve owned …

But also because I’m not a petrol-head, I’m prepared to concede that it’s just possible I’m the only person in the known universe who thinks that a 2,000,000 miles on the road is newsworthy!

SO … put me out of my misery! Can YOU top this record? Tell me in the comments below!!

The post 2 Million Miles … and counting! appeared first on Australia by Red Nomad OZ.

Welcome to my latest update – what’s RED HOT with Red right now?  Glad you asked!  Read on …

Well, I FINALLY got over the euphoria of my first guest post … But now the excitement is back with a vengeance!!  Why??

RED HOT Interview:

If you care, read my interview on  Jidhu Jose’s Blog ‘Reflections’ – although you MIGHT appreciate this a bit more if you are Annabel, Amy & Tom, Manzanita, Marie, Mary or Alessandra …why not go over there RIGHT NOW and see why!  Leave Jidhu some love as well to make it worth his while …

But wait!  There’s more …

RED HOT Guest Spot:

You might also be interested in checking out TexaGermaNadian’s ‘Frackin’ Friday’ post – if you don’t like my contribution, I’ll bet you almost anything you’ll find something else over there to laugh about!!
No spoilers here … you’ll have to go on over and check it out for yourself!!  Leave Texa some love too – and she might even invite me back again one day!

RED HOT RED!:

Click HERE for the closest I’ll ever get to being ‘Miss May’!  No, I’m not moonlighting as a dodgy calendar girl – believe it or not!! – I’ve been chosen as the May entrant for the Explore Australia Road Trippers Hall of Fame!!

Awesome, huh?  Will I win?  Head on over and have a look at my competition …

RED HOT Updates:

And if you’re worried about missing a post (or two), why not follow me on Twitter – @RedNomadOZ?!

BUT … be warned!  My technophobia means this link might not work, so you’re probably better off using the Twitter ‘follow me’ button just above my profile on the right of my blog.  Just between you and I, it IS possible to fake joining the 21st century …

And finally …

RED HOT Awards:

Two lovely bloggers have been kind enough to award my blog – embarassingly, now quite some time ago.  My apologies for the extraordinarily late acknowledgement – is ‘late’ really better than ‘never’??

Firstly, the ‘Lovely Blog’ award from Divine in Time!  Ms Divine’s most recent post The Family Tree, where she takes a closer look at an old photo that belonged to her grandmother is hilarious …

Secondly, the ‘Versatile Blogger’ award from Jim at ‘Holes in My Soles’!  Jim’s most recent post (at the time of writing) Hazards While Driving in Botswana where he depicts the challenges faced by tour vehicle drivers is also hilarious …

Thanx to you both – my interview at Jidhu’s blog will give you several things you don’t know about me, and also links to some great blogs you might want to explore further …

RED HOT Readers:

I lied.  THIS is the final section!!

To all my wonderful readers (and ESPECIALLY those who leave comments!!), thank you for your continued support – you’re RED HOT too!!

Have a great weekend!!

The post Red Hot RED!!! appeared first on Australia by Red Nomad OZ.

Living Quarters? Hotel on Wheels?? Holiday Accommodation??? Nah, none of those quite fit. But if you’ve read Lonely Planet’s excellent guide*, you’d know our camper trailer would make a perfect mobile MICRONATION!

Our only constant when travelling, we’re cocooned inside at night when the world shrinks to the size of our living space. But, Brigadoon-like, we awake to new places, panoramas and vistas just waiting to be explored in the light of day! Beaches, rivers, the outback, deserts, rainforests, highlands, national parks, wet tropics, tablelands, lakes, cities, towns, mountains, plains – thankfully, SO many OZ picturesque and scenic locations still have public camping or caravan parks** nearby!

As my photos (both old and new) will show …

It’s true, that with a 3 x 1.5 m (9′ x 5′) living area and two extending bed ends for sleeping and storage the camper trailer’d be smaller than most other micronations – including ‘Lovely’ (a small flat in London) and even the Copeman Empire (a caravan in Sheringham, England). But – and I know this’ll come as a complete surprise to you – SIZE DOESN’T MATTER!! See? I’m shouting! It’s SO not a secret …

But when travelling with the southern grey nomads around this great land of OZ, you’d be forgiven for thinking that size really DOES matter! Roads heading north become clogged with a slow moving wagon train of 2-3 tonne giant caravans that when attached to a state of the art giant SUV become a rig bigger than some semi-trailers.

By comparison, our minimalist camper trailer appears more and more spartan with every year that passes since its 1998 purchase! But it still meets our requirements – portable and manoeuvrable, quick to set up, comfortable bed, table and lounge, cooking facilities, water, gas, outdoor area.

And it all fits in to this small space. We can take it almost anywhere. We don’t need help to reverse onto our site. Our carbon footprint is small. AND … perhaps most importantly – on balance, we’re not a danger on the roads***!!

So what’s the attraction of a big caravan? As far as I can tell they attempt to fully replicate the comforts of home. Because that’s why people travel, isn’t it? To have things exactly the same as at home??

I just don’t get it. Especially when the giant van is a gas-guzzling-overweight-high-energy-and-carbon-emission-difficult-to-manouvre-dangerous-to-drive-potential-lethal-weapon! Which it’s probably not such a good idea to start driving around at a time in your life when your reflexes are deteriorating. Just sayin’!

So here’s why I DON’T want these 10 ‘bonus’ extras I’d get by upgrading to a BIG van:

1. Bathroom and Toilet
Remind me again why spending my holidays cleaning the toilet is such a great idea when there’s a perfectly good amenities block that SOMEONE ELSE CLEANS?? (note – there’s probably nothing much you can say here to convince me!)(but try if you want to!)

2. Big water tanks
Carting 100+ kg of extra weight around when you’re in some of the highest rainfall areas in the country is a good idea because …???

3. Full sized fridge and pantry
Wouldn’t the extra 50+ kilos weight of supplies that I’m towing offset the savings I’ve made by stocking up at a big supermarket?? And no one EVER has enough fridge space! Despite having a full sized fridge in their van, many GN’s also have a portable fridge in their SUV – well, I guess you can never have enough cold beer …

4. Microwave and Barbecue
But I’m on holidays! I cook simple meals, and eat out for a treat! OZ is littered with free public barbecues in the most amazing picnic areas! And … there’s always a bakery if it all gets too hard …

5. Bigger bed
Why, when we’re managing to do everything that needs doing on our current bed??!!

6. Wardrobes
Have a look around in ANY tourist spot and play ‘spot the tourist’. What gives it away? Clothing!! Why not carry a week’s worth of ordinary, easy-care clothes and a couple of items for dress ups? Who needs a wardrobe for that??

7. Bigger lounge & TV
OK, when I’m visiting some of the most beautiful scenery in the world I’m either outside exploring or off on a day trip exploring. Why would I sit inside watching TV?

8. Airconditioning
I’m heading north because it’s cold down south. SO … I use aircon to make it colder than home in winter? Our windows open in any direction to catch the breeze (and we’ve actually got more window space than the average van) or we use a fan. A heater warms up our small space in about 5 minutes.

9. Luxury textures and fittings
Let me get this right. I’m travelling where there’s dust, sand, moisture, salt and/or heat. And I’m going to have a leather lounge? And granite benches?? And wooden cupboards/surfaces??? Yep, perfect for the conditions! AND see #1 re cleaning …

10. Livin’ the Dream
Our rig is devoid of signage (although that might all change if I achieved micronation status) unlike many caravans, whose owners are apparently “Livin’ the Dream”. And if watching TV with a whining pet inside a caravan with aircon on HIGH is livin’ the dream, who am I to argue?

In my opinion, these extra ‘bonuses’ can be a substitute for a) planning ahead; b) adapting to local conditions and c) getting the full benefit of the area you’re in.

And, the $60,000 odd (a fairly modest estimate) we’d save by NOT upgrading would buy a hell of a lot of site fees – actually 2,000 nights @ $30 per night, to be precise! Or halve that and factor in a commensurate number of bakery visits … but I digress!

And my credentials? We’ve experienced what most caravan owners haven’t – having once lived in our camper trailer for a continuous period of 18 months!

Of course I’ve got a long way to go if I decide to secede, and I don’t think I’d be competing with the Principality of Hutt River for it’s status as Australia’s best known micronation – but hey! A girl can dream …

* Weirdly, there’s a whole section about mad Aussies … go figure!!
** Trailer Parks
*** Ok, lots of big rig drivers aren’t either. So how do you tell those who are? Check the van/trailer for scratches, dingles, dents and small pieces of tree – a dead giveaway the driver has no idea of the size of the rig! The acid test is watching them actually reversing or driving around a tight corner …

The post Traveller SHAME Files #5 – The Kitchen Sink! appeared first on Australia by Red Nomad OZ.

Desperately seeking sewage ponds (as one does!), we whizzed down a dirt road behind Quorn, in South Australia’s mid-North, only just keeping ahead of the clouds of dust we were generating.

And the squalor of the sewage pond? Does that quantify Quorn’s quintessence?? Of course not! Our quest will be no surprise to quantities of inquisitive birdwatchers who regularly add to their quota while lurking near what is often the only wetland for miles. Or kilometres! But I digress …

As our quest took us deeper into the quiet countryside, a not-quite-right shape silhouetted against the October-blue sky (that’s the SA spring weather for you! Or at least it was in Quorn, 2010) intruded into my consciousness.

‘Stop the car!’ I squawked without a qualm, an instruction with which Pilchard acquiesced, thinking (quite incorrectly) that I’d spotted a new/rare/unusual bird – like a quail with a thirst to quench…

No bird, but this bearded dragon quiescent amongst the quandongs (actually, that’s a bit of alliterative license, it was more like a thornbush), a couple of metres (6′) above the ground taking the sun and Quorn country air. Sadly, his pitch about to be queered by the clouds of dust about to catch up, as we quashed the quest for our previous quarry to take this shot!!

And was I qualified to quarrel with Pilchard’s suggestion we quit our quest and return to Quorn to quaff a Quornish pastie?? Of quorse not!!

HHHMMMmmm… maybe I’d better quit while I’m ahead!!

The post Weird Stuff #3 – Quorn, South Australia appeared first on Australia by Red Nomad OZ.

So I think I’ll stick with the powers of the Bowen Curse!

The post Weird Stuff #2 – Bowen, QLD appeared first on Australia by Red Nomad OZ.

I can’t wait to see the most recent addition to South Australia’s ‘anti-hoon’ laws enacted! For those unfamiliar with laws peculiar to this sometimes draconian state, legislation penalising certain automobile related behaviours – such as drag racing, laying rubber and doing burn-outs – can result in the offender’s vehicle being impounded or confiscated.

That’s the simplified version, anyway. And while not explicitly stated, the legislation clearly targets a particular population demographic! Go on – look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t immediately think of young males!!

BUT … playing loud music in one’s car is now also a punishable offence!

So add the city and suburban Saturday night ‘DOOF-DOOF-DOOF’ to the list of no-no’s and who’s the likely target? Young urban males, I hear you say??

Not necessarily …

Picture, if you will, a multi-faceted landscape, with views from the highway to the horizon. Happily, there’s a car park, picnic table and lookout to enhance your viewing pleasure…

Actually, do MORE than picture it – check it out right here! This shot from the roadside lookout between Hawker and Quorn, may prove or disprove the concept that it’s virtually impossible to take a bad photo of the Flinders Ranges, but you’d agree that it looks like a quiet, restful spot, right?

Think again!

Imagine the view with a soundtrack. A car, doors and windows ajar, is sprawled across most of the available parking spots. The state of the art stereo system is getting a workout. One of the occupants is out taking a photo. The other is still inside reading a magazine. The photographer calls out something unintelligible to the reader in the car. ‘WHAAAT?’ she shrieks back. ‘I can’t hear you!!’

NOW – think about it, and describe them!

Yes, of course! It’s a Grey Nomad couple, unable to correctly park their huge new 4WD while recreating the ‘wall of sound’ by playing ABC Classic FM at full bore!! In fact, so loud as to preclude all rational thought!

I BET that’s what you were thinking, right? And no, I’m not joking. It really WAS a GN couple as described above.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against Classic FM, or listening to the radio or any other music, for that matter. But I want to choose when, where, how or even IF I listen to it. And I certainly don’t want to have it shoved down my neck when I’m sightseeing, touring or in a caravan park.

SO … I can’t wait to see South Australia’s laws enforced, and this thoughtless couple’s car impounded!!

What do you think my chances are??

Happy travels!

The post Traveller SHAME Files #4 – The Hills are Alive!! appeared first on Australia by Red Nomad OZ.

Some time in the future, we’ll reach a higher plane of consciousness and what we now know as mysteries will be made clear. I guess I’ll just have to wait until then to find out why Type #1 Space Invaders, faced with the choice of multiple sites in wide open spaces, will invariably choose to set up camp right next to us!

Somehow, I don’t think it’s due to my magnetic personality … And if misery REALLY loved company, why would it voluntarily seek out the company of a grumpy, anti-social bitch?

My psychic powers clearly need a boost – so far I’ve failed to fathom why Type #1s do what they do!

Maybe staying in an out of the way spot requires some sort of validation. ‘Are we allowed to stay here? Oh, it must be OK, there’s people here already. Let’s stay right next to them!’

Or maybe it’s fear. ‘OMIGOD! What if there are feral pigs/plants/campers? There’s safety in numbers, so we’d better set up next to them!’

Or maybe it’s perversion. ‘HHHMMMmmm… they look interesting! Lets camp close to them and watch!!’

Or maybe not. Like I said, one day we’ll all find out!

Type #2 Space Invaders, usually found in more structured camping areas are even more irritating. Many caravan parks have designated spaces of roughly the same size hired out to travellers at the same cost per site. SO … there’s no incentive to impinge on anyone else’s space, is there? IS THERE???!!!

Well you wouldn’t think so.

But Type #2’s have skilled, yet subtle ways to take more than their fair share of space. Like the chap who parked his giant 4WD RV across the space in front of his van and OUR awning instead of his van and HIS awning. We wondered why he bothered – keeping the space in front of his awning clear gave him a perfect view of the amenities block entrance. More specifically, the ladies amenities block entrance! Then the penny dropped …
But the advent of rigs bigger than the average holiday shack has spawned the Type #3 Space Invader, for whom extra space is apparently a god-given right that comes with the purchase of said big rig!

Our Type #3 experience in the Blackall Caravan Park took us completely by surprise. We’d spent the day at Isisford and returned to an iceberg-like smooth white wall about 1.5 metres from our side door, rising well above us. This gave us an immediate, but unwelcome insight into the Titanic experience, and finished off any chance we had of actually enjoying sitting outside!

Because a drivers license upgrade is not required for towing something bigger than a small semi trailer, reversing into a small space is often a problem. And just because you’ve paid the same site fee as the smaller rig next door (even though you’ll use WAAAAAAAY more power and water than them) doesn’t mean you actually have to stay within your site boundary, does it? After all, they don’t actually need the space. And look! If we move their table and chairs out of the way, that’ll give us a LOT more room!

Cheeky buggers!

Having taken over half our space, these Type #3’s then had the gall to ring their kids and whine about how small the sites were at this park! Tragically, because we were so close we could hear every word. Even more tragically, while I get a big ‘YES’ for bad tempered bitch, I get an even bigger ‘NO’ for murdering psychopath!

Incidentally, alert readers will correctly infer that the Type #3 Space Invader qualities often (although not always!) fit the Grey Nomad demographic … but go ahead!  Prove me wrong!!

Stay calm!!

The post Traveller SHAME Files #3 – Space Invaders appeared first on Australia by Red Nomad OZ.

It’s amazing to me that rational people who stopped believing in Santa and/or the Easter Bunny well before reaching adulthood apparently still believe in the Cleaning Fairy.  I say ‘apparently’, because while no one’s actually TOLD me they believe in the Cleaning Fairy, I’ve observed a number of giveaways clearly showing that some people do!

Unsurprisingly, many of these clues can be found in or around Caravan Park and Campground amenities blocks.

I’ve pieced the clues together to build a profile of the Cleaning Fairy’s tasks – from my observations s/he is perceived to be responsible for the following:

• placing used cotton buds, dental floss and paper towels, empty containers, hair plugs etc into the bin
• removing excess toothpaste and other unidentifiable detritus from the vanity surface and mirror
• mopping up excess water and muddy footprints from the shower cubicle (mops generally supplied)
• flushing used toilet paper (etc!) down the toilet
• removing skid marks from the toilet bowl (brush generally supplied)

I wouldn’t dare to suggest a demographic profile of Cleaning Fairy true believers … but while they come in all shapes and sizes, there are a few key groups that appear more regularly than others.  I wonder if you can guess who they are?!?!

Responsibility for cleaning up ones mess in a shared ablutions block is contentious – although it shouldn’t be.  When one is paying for the privilege of use, it’s tempting to leave the cleaning up to the Cleaning Fairy.  But where does that leave fellow guests who are also paying to use the amenities?

I know you’ll be shocked to hear that many travellers just don’t give a damn!  Presumably because they believe the Cleaning Fairy will take care of it!  I mean, if they DON’T believe in the Cleaning Fairy, what’s the alternative?  Their bathroom looks like this at home??  They have no respect for their fellow travellers???  They’re in denial about their impact on their environment????

Or maybe they’re just a bit simple.  After all, the amenities block is magically restored to its pristine state at least once a day, ergo there is a Cleaning Fairy.

Or maybe I’m the one in denial and the Cleaning Fairy ACTUALLY EXISTS!!

ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!  If that’s the case, someone tell me quick so I can stop cleaning up after myself too!!!

Stay clean!

The post Traveller SHAME Files #2 – The Cleaning Fairy appeared first on Australia by Red Nomad OZ.